i arrived at The Bondage Boss's home at noon on Friday (see His blog for videos of this session) to make further progress towards the gimp bondage slave. Purposely, i had NO solid foods for 3 days prior because of that i knew was planned. i would only be given liquids during my stay at Sirs home. After working in irons for a a few hours and then a rest period in the cage (shackled and hooded of course) it was time for THE BOX. THE BOX has an overwelming allure to me as it is the ultimate in convinement, isolation, captivity and sensory deprivation. The coffin-like box is padded on each inside wall and has various attachment points in the box as well. There are only two VERY small holes in the box for air (about dime size)....one near the foot of the box and one near the head of the box.
Boss wanted to see just how much (and for how long) i could take so my locking sensory deprivation hood (which is QUITE the head trip if left on for a few hours by itself) was put on me, my hands were put into LOCKING padded fist mitts and my ankles were put in leather restraints. A electro buttplug was put in my ass and an electro cock/ball ring attached to my cock/balls. i was then told to lay in the box and Boss attached each ankle to each side of the box AND put a chain in between the two ankle restraints so that i could barely move either leg more than an inch and forced the legs apart. The padded fist mitts were then attached to each side of the box by a short chain so i could only move them a few inches and they could not touch each other or my cock/balls. The he attached the top of the hood to an eyebolt on the inside top of the box so i could barely move my head. Sir then taped a baby monitor inside the box, ran the wires from the electrodes out the hole near the foot of the box and attached the air machine to the other hole near the head of the box. Sir then shut the box and locked it with 2 PADLOCKS. Then Sir turned on the electro so i was getting shocked in the ass and the cock/balls. He sent poppers thru the air machine and then left me there for a few hours.
Before i continue, i should say that i have a lot of experience in endurance bondage and crave it like an addict craves a fix (this IS my fix) but this type of situation can be dangerous if You don't know what You are doing.....luckily Sir is quite safe and knowledable and i trust Him completely. He is slowly learning what and how much i can take. Sir had asked me (BEFORE we agreed to add the electro to the mix) how long i could REALISTICALLY stay in the box. i was optimisitic (probably too much so as i don't want to disappoint him and want to prove to Him that i AM the type of gimpslave that i know i am) so told him maybe 12-13 hours. i think he was skeptical (ok, maybe i was too as i had only spent time in one other box many many years ago and it was for 6 hours and the Top was shocked i lasted that long as most want out within 3 hours at the most). Also, i was pretty immobile and the the fact the electricity was now added made it VERY VERY VERY INTENSE. i LOVED it....and it lasted almost 14 hours total in the box with Sir coming down to the dungeon 3-4 times and turning up the electro and feeding more poppers into the air machine. He ONLY unlcoked and opened the box ONCE after 12 hours to give me some water thru a straw and pull out the buttplug which had gotten extremely sore....and then He locked the box back up and i slept for a couple more hours in the box. During the 12 hours i did not sleep at all as it was so intense, completely immobility, electro buttplug and only my thoughts to get me through the night (or day...how was i to know...all time is lost in the box). i know most people would CRINGE at the thought of how i spent this night...but i loved and already MISS the box.
Many people ask me what goes thru Your mind while in the box? One of the reasons Sirs instructed me to start this blog was to explain my feelings. Well, since this was a very intense evening, this is a good situation for me to explain. Initially, when put in the box, i tested my immobility (head, legs, arms) to see how far i could move. Sir was smart to give me JUST ENOUGH (like a couple of inches) so that with effort, i could feel the sides of the box with my shoulder, feet, padded mitts and top of hooded head. WOW...i AM really in total isolation/confinement...about at much as one can be....completely shut off from the "real" world. Over time in that box...as the hours progressed...the BOX BECAME my world. i had to just accept that this was my fate...to lie in the box, waiting for Sirs return. As more and more time went on, my mind drifted towards thinking about what if this was how i slept EACH night...what if Master keeps me here for DAYS? Scary? Most would think so....but no, it was a wonderful thought as time progressed in the box, i began to truly feel myself changing. The hood and padded fistmitts had been on so long they now felt as if they had REPLACED my head and hands.....i had begun to transform...and it felt very very natural to me. Eventually (10+ hours in) i know i even cried/whimpered a bit (i warned SIR that might happen and to NOT release me if it does) as i was almost bidding farewell to the life i knew and had to accept this new life...as tough as it was....it somehow felt RIGHT....like THIS is what i was put on this earth for...to suffer and endure under someone's COMPLETE control. Somehow, a sense of peace came over me...the BOX was now MY HOME...where I BELONGED....crazy? Yes, i guess so...but it is what it is....this IS how i truly feel.
Although ready to get out in terms of being stiff, sore and needing to go the bathroom (luckily the limited liquid foods helps control that) it was only a few hours when i already began to miss being in that state...UTTER AND COMPLETE LOSS OF CONTROL. And (frankly) we COULD have gone even further...not just in time spent in the box, but also controlling piss, liquids, etc so that days would be possible in the box.....mmmmmmm.....maybe someday..maybe someday!!!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Waiting for Boss
it is writing this today in INTENSE anticipation of going to TheBondageBoss's dungeon for Memorial Day weekend for its 3rd session, where it will be in almost constant bondage for a minimum of 72 hours and possibly more. The title of this blog "Waiting for Boss" relates to the story that Sir has sent me entitled "Waiting for Ross" which i have reread today. From what it can tell, Boss is wanting to create the type of slavery envisioned in the story...or at least as close as realistically possible. Below is a small subset of that story from the early parts (names changed to relate to Boss and myself "it")
Boss taught it that slavery
meant waiting for Boss, and Boss taught it what waiting for Boss meant.
It meant a rubber suit encased you in layers of head to toe
rubber; it meant you were zippered, laced, and strapped into a leather
sleepsack over your rubber; it meant your head was enclosed in a leather
hood over the rubber; it meant having all your holes invaded or plugged;
it meant recycling your own piss through a gag; it meant being suspended
vertically by a hoist attached to the shoulder straps of your sleepsack; it meant having electrodes attached to your balls and buttplug that go off if any movement occurs; it meant hanging alone in a closet in Boss’s dungeon.
Although we have not created this scenario exactly like the above (i am hoping to), Boss is slowly expanding the length of my bondage and the severity of it and this weekend will certainly be very rough...yet i can hardly wait. Although this is only the 3rd session, i am so happy to have found someone who believes slavery means keeping a slave bound/boxed/gagged/chained under COMPLETE control for hours or days waiting for Him. i have been a slave before, and although it was fulfilling, i have grown to accept the fact that i NEED a more intense and REAL type of slavery/control. This is somewhat unfortunate as finding a permanent Master who wants this may very well be impossible. At least (in the meantime) Boss has agreed to take me on this path as He likes the idea of COMPLETE control of a slave. Like the slave in the story, i feel more and more compelled to live this way. It is CLEARLY who i am. i have accepted that, though it makes for a difficult life at this point. The good news is that have made enough money in my life to retire and pay for insurance, food, etc so that IF (and it is a BIG IF) i ever find someone who wants to have such a slave, i have the ability to make it happen. This is a good test to see IF such a life is even possible as Boss is taking me further and further to see just how REAL it can become.
i will be posting more of my feelings after the weekend which will most likely focus on what goes thru my mind over time in isolation. i can't wait.
Boss taught it that slavery
meant waiting for Boss, and Boss taught it what waiting for Boss meant.
It meant a rubber suit encased you in layers of head to toe
rubber; it meant you were zippered, laced, and strapped into a leather
sleepsack over your rubber; it meant your head was enclosed in a leather
hood over the rubber; it meant having all your holes invaded or plugged;
it meant recycling your own piss through a gag; it meant being suspended
vertically by a hoist attached to the shoulder straps of your sleepsack; it meant having electrodes attached to your balls and buttplug that go off if any movement occurs; it meant hanging alone in a closet in Boss’s dungeon.
Although we have not created this scenario exactly like the above (i am hoping to), Boss is slowly expanding the length of my bondage and the severity of it and this weekend will certainly be very rough...yet i can hardly wait. Although this is only the 3rd session, i am so happy to have found someone who believes slavery means keeping a slave bound/boxed/gagged/chained under COMPLETE control for hours or days waiting for Him. i have been a slave before, and although it was fulfilling, i have grown to accept the fact that i NEED a more intense and REAL type of slavery/control. This is somewhat unfortunate as finding a permanent Master who wants this may very well be impossible. At least (in the meantime) Boss has agreed to take me on this path as He likes the idea of COMPLETE control of a slave. Like the slave in the story, i feel more and more compelled to live this way. It is CLEARLY who i am. i have accepted that, though it makes for a difficult life at this point. The good news is that have made enough money in my life to retire and pay for insurance, food, etc so that IF (and it is a BIG IF) i ever find someone who wants to have such a slave, i have the ability to make it happen. This is a good test to see IF such a life is even possible as Boss is taking me further and further to see just how REAL it can become.
i will be posting more of my feelings after the weekend which will most likely focus on what goes thru my mind over time in isolation. i can't wait.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Struggling with feelings
It has been about a week and a half since the extended session with SIR. To be honest, it has been a bit of a struggle since it has returned. It was very comfortable being Sir's bondage slave during the extended session and is anxious to continue. It feels very much like what an addict must feel like. Now that it has had a taste of what it wants and needs, it REALLY needs and wants it. This has resulted in some depression issues of late and the only thing that keeps its hopes up is the conversations it has with Sir. Unfortunately, Sir has been sick or busy quite a bit lately so we have not talked too much. Also, it has been a struggle as it does not know when (or IF) we are having another session or taking the next steps. If we don't, it is SERIOUSLY worried about what to do now. This has awakened something in it that has always been there, but have kept it a bit hidden over the last few years. it is remembering how good it feels to be a slave....how being a slave IS what it was made to do.....that IS its place in the world. it knows it with ALL of its heart and mind. Unfortunately, Master/slave relationships rarely happen and it has been VERY fortunate to have lived thru TWO of these type relationships in the past though not at the extreme level Sir and it has been discussing. This ABSOLUTELY IS the RIGHT path for it....WITHOUT A DOUBT. My fear now is that Sir may not want to take this path with me and it has NO IDEA where to find anyone who wants this at the level we are discussing besides Him. HOPEFULLY He will decide to take me on this path....but obviously that is HIS decision and at this point it can do nothing but wait...which is REALLY REALLY hard when it is so sure of what it needs/wants. it is going away this weekend on a camping trip so maybe it can focus its thoughts to try to put all of this out of its mind so it can function each day.....without the constant drive to make this happen...since it is out of its hands right now. it has told itself to NOT bug Sir as it does not want to scare Him away....and everyone has to move at their own pace....and a HUGE part of being a slave is WAITING...which is what it is doing now...waiting (and hoping) that Sir decides to move forward....but it is also realistic and knows that the chance of Sir moving forward is probably pretty slim....after all there is probably only a handful of people like this in the entire world. At this point, it feels like it would go anywhere or do anything to make this happen to fulfill its life.
To whoever reads this (if anyone does) it apologizes that it is so down but these are its honest feelings that it struggles with almost every day of its life. its very hard when You know what You want and need but HAVE to depend on others to make that happen...particular when there are only LITERALLY one in a million people who would EVER really want this......beyond fantasy.
At this point, it would be more than willing to completely give up its current life (friends, family, location, etc) for anyone who could make this happen together with it.
To whoever reads this (if anyone does) it apologizes that it is so down but these are its honest feelings that it struggles with almost every day of its life. its very hard when You know what You want and need but HAVE to depend on others to make that happen...particular when there are only LITERALLY one in a million people who would EVER really want this......beyond fantasy.
At this point, it would be more than willing to completely give up its current life (friends, family, location, etc) for anyone who could make this happen together with it.
Monday, May 3, 2010
The first test
Friday: Went up to Sir's place for our second meeting. Our first meeting went well but was relatively short. This visit was to be approximately 42 hours long. When it arrived, it was stripped and then padded fist mitts were LOCKED onto its hands and restraints LOCKED on its feet. It was then put in a LOCKED muzzle with a large gag. it was seated into a bondage chair and its mitts were locked onto the chair at its sides and the ankle restraints attached to the chair. the muzzle had a large d-ring which was attached to the ceiling, basically forcing it to remain seated with eyes facing front. Sir then put a series of rubber bondage gimp videos on and looped them and left the room for over 2 hours. it was told to watch the videos and envision itself in those positions from Boss. it was beginning.....the bondage was in place and it was being forced to watch videos detailing possible scenarios which would happen to it in the future. it could feel its cock getting hard (which was still in the SAME chastity device that Boss had locked on it about 6 weeks earlier).
After the videos Boss put me in the cage still shackled and mitted for a few hours for a rest period. Boss then took me out and put on the pre-19th century irons on me (wrists and ankles) and collared me in a LOCKING collar and fed me a liquid protein drink (as it found out later there was to be little to no solid food for it this weekend to prepare it for its future life and be prepared for longterm bondage). Boss then allowed me to sit on the floor while we watched the end of a movie and then Boss put on the LOCKING sensory deprivation hood on it and chained me to a small bed in a room downstairs. The hood has NO holes for mouth or eyes other than a small breathing hole and is heavily padded and encased in locking straps. After the long drive up and the intensity of the day, it fell asleep for about 10 hours.
Saturday: Once it awoke from its long sleep, Sir removed the hood and unchained it from the bed and fed it a small bowl of oatmeal and allowed it 30 minutes to shower/use bathroom. Then it was time for the box. It has been DREAMING of this box for some time and was excited to be put in the box. SIR had blocked the airhole as he wanted NO light coming thru. it was in a stand-up position and my wrist and ankle steel manacles were attached to each other and it was backed up into the box and the door was LOCKED. it could not move its hands at all and could only move slightly from side to side. it was not able to move at all forward or backward. the heat from the box caused it to sweat profusely but it was a constant reminder of this slave's status. After about an hour, Boss let it out of the box and its shirt was completely soaked with sweat (looked like it fell into a pool). Boss then detached the ankle shackles (but left the wrist ones on) and put it to work with errands in the yard for a couple of hours. Then Boss told me it was time for the sleepsack. it was put into the leather sleepsack and strapped in tightly and the sensory deprivation hood was again LOCKED on. it was then strapped with bungee cords to the bondage bed to assure that it was firmly locked down and could not roll around or really move at all. Sir then came in every once in a while and used poppers on it for the next 5-6 hours. Finally Sir released it from the sleepsack in front of two of Sir's friends who seemed quite interested in the whole process. it was given some fruit and shaved turkey and then told it was time for the box again. it was put immediately into the box (this time horizontally) and the fist mitts were attached to the insides of the box and ankles were attached to the bottom end of the box and a muzzle was attached to the front end of the box, basically ensuring little to no movement. The box was then closed and LOCKED on and air was forced into the box via a small hole. it was left for 3 hours in the box. Boss then came down and announced it was time for bed and it was put right back into the box (but this time not chained down as much and the box was not locked during the night for safety reasons). Although it had the ability to push up and open the box, it left the box closed as it knew it was appropriate for what Boss (and it) really want to get to. Sir then went to bed and did not return for nine hours.
Sunday: After nine hours in the box straight, Boss let me out and fed me oatmeal, had me shower and help with a few things in the dungeon and it was sent on its way home for its 4 hour drive. During the drive, it kept remembering everything that happened over the weekend and allowed it all to sink in. it had spent about 41 hours in pretty constant bondage and (as it expected) it all felt very very "right" to it....this is what it needs....this is who IT is....this is the life that feels safe, secure and ultimately what makes it happy....as ODD as that sounds to most. This is more than a typical Master/slave lifestyle.....it is one of almost constant bondage/captivity. Did it really want this? Could anyone REALLY live this way? This was its chance to call Sir up and thank him for the weekend once it got home and end everything there. Did it even consider that...for even one moment? NO...not at all. In fact, before it even got home it realized that it would NOT be put into bondage or a locked box/cell/cage for the evening once it got home and it began to get quite sad. it lives in a very nice, new large nicely furnished house and yet all it could think of was spending its nights in the dark bondage box locked away in the dungeon. THAT felt MUCH more like home to me than anything ever has. Hopefully Boss will allow me to continue and wants to develop such a bondage gimp slave as itself. This is a long and difficult path but it is very happy to be on it. it hopes the next "training/session" will be soon....it already is missing its box.
After the videos Boss put me in the cage still shackled and mitted for a few hours for a rest period. Boss then took me out and put on the pre-19th century irons on me (wrists and ankles) and collared me in a LOCKING collar and fed me a liquid protein drink (as it found out later there was to be little to no solid food for it this weekend to prepare it for its future life and be prepared for longterm bondage). Boss then allowed me to sit on the floor while we watched the end of a movie and then Boss put on the LOCKING sensory deprivation hood on it and chained me to a small bed in a room downstairs. The hood has NO holes for mouth or eyes other than a small breathing hole and is heavily padded and encased in locking straps. After the long drive up and the intensity of the day, it fell asleep for about 10 hours.
Saturday: Once it awoke from its long sleep, Sir removed the hood and unchained it from the bed and fed it a small bowl of oatmeal and allowed it 30 minutes to shower/use bathroom. Then it was time for the box. It has been DREAMING of this box for some time and was excited to be put in the box. SIR had blocked the airhole as he wanted NO light coming thru. it was in a stand-up position and my wrist and ankle steel manacles were attached to each other and it was backed up into the box and the door was LOCKED. it could not move its hands at all and could only move slightly from side to side. it was not able to move at all forward or backward. the heat from the box caused it to sweat profusely but it was a constant reminder of this slave's status. After about an hour, Boss let it out of the box and its shirt was completely soaked with sweat (looked like it fell into a pool). Boss then detached the ankle shackles (but left the wrist ones on) and put it to work with errands in the yard for a couple of hours. Then Boss told me it was time for the sleepsack. it was put into the leather sleepsack and strapped in tightly and the sensory deprivation hood was again LOCKED on. it was then strapped with bungee cords to the bondage bed to assure that it was firmly locked down and could not roll around or really move at all. Sir then came in every once in a while and used poppers on it for the next 5-6 hours. Finally Sir released it from the sleepsack in front of two of Sir's friends who seemed quite interested in the whole process. it was given some fruit and shaved turkey and then told it was time for the box again. it was put immediately into the box (this time horizontally) and the fist mitts were attached to the insides of the box and ankles were attached to the bottom end of the box and a muzzle was attached to the front end of the box, basically ensuring little to no movement. The box was then closed and LOCKED on and air was forced into the box via a small hole. it was left for 3 hours in the box. Boss then came down and announced it was time for bed and it was put right back into the box (but this time not chained down as much and the box was not locked during the night for safety reasons). Although it had the ability to push up and open the box, it left the box closed as it knew it was appropriate for what Boss (and it) really want to get to. Sir then went to bed and did not return for nine hours.
Sunday: After nine hours in the box straight, Boss let me out and fed me oatmeal, had me shower and help with a few things in the dungeon and it was sent on its way home for its 4 hour drive. During the drive, it kept remembering everything that happened over the weekend and allowed it all to sink in. it had spent about 41 hours in pretty constant bondage and (as it expected) it all felt very very "right" to it....this is what it needs....this is who IT is....this is the life that feels safe, secure and ultimately what makes it happy....as ODD as that sounds to most. This is more than a typical Master/slave lifestyle.....it is one of almost constant bondage/captivity. Did it really want this? Could anyone REALLY live this way? This was its chance to call Sir up and thank him for the weekend once it got home and end everything there. Did it even consider that...for even one moment? NO...not at all. In fact, before it even got home it realized that it would NOT be put into bondage or a locked box/cell/cage for the evening once it got home and it began to get quite sad. it lives in a very nice, new large nicely furnished house and yet all it could think of was spending its nights in the dark bondage box locked away in the dungeon. THAT felt MUCH more like home to me than anything ever has. Hopefully Boss will allow me to continue and wants to develop such a bondage gimp slave as itself. This is a long and difficult path but it is very happy to be on it. it hopes the next "training/session" will be soon....it already is missing its box.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Training Begins
Today was the first day of my training with SIR (Boss). After a long 4 hour+ drive, it arrived and entered SIR's vestibule at the entrance to His home. Once it entered thru the gate there was a box with some instructions sitting on it. It said to change into my boots and black sweatpants and black t-shirt and to put the hood that was there on and lock it on, as well as locking ankle restraints. Finally, it was instructed to put on a pair of hyatt cuffs with its wrists behind its back and then kneel on the rubber mat facing the street. The hood was a little small for my head so took a long time to get it on correctly.....was very tight but that is the way it likes it (as does SIR). it heard the door open and it felt SIR's presence (realize that it is has YET to actually see Sir in person as it is completely hooded). SIR then pushed a VERY large gag into its mouth and then added a harness on top of the hood and gag. Because the harness was too small (damn my big head) the pressure was almost overwhelming but over time learned to breathe thru it although it was very labored. SIR then led me into the house and then the garage where He fastened my wrists (still cuffed behind me) to an eyebolt on the wall. Then a chain was attached to the top of the head harness and a spreader bar was put between my ankles attached the cuffs which were also attached to the wall.
As it was VERY nervous at this point and still trying to adjust to the hood, the tightness and the heat (it was sweating very strongly) it was difficult to stay in that position. Unfortunately the top forehead band of the muzzle was pressing so hard on my head it was beginning to get lightheaded and was afraid it would throw up and/or pass out. Luckily was able to get SIRs attention and He removed the head harness and attached the chain to the collar instead so it was still unable to move hardly at all but was no longer in intense pain. it felt SO wonderful to be kept like this, even as my jaw and legs were aching. it could feel its dick getting hard but (of course) it was still in the chastity device with the same numbered plastic lock SIR had made it put on it a week earlier.
SIR then put it in His cage (which was oddly the SMALLEST cage it has ever been in but it felt very good to be caged and in bondage....SIR attached a chain from its wrists (now in padded mitts in front of its chest) thru the top bars of the cage and to the ankle restraints, effectively making it so it could not move in any position other than on its back. SIR left it like that for several hours.....the feelings of being OWNED completely by a Master came back to it...it had been a LONG time since it felt like this and the feelings were overwhelming. it was not scared and it accepted its pain as a gift...a gift from SIR. Its thoughts focused on what it would be like to TRULY live like this on almost a daily basis? Hmmm.....WOW.....what a fantastic life that would be. It tried not to think too hard about it as it made its cock hard and it pushed against its chastity. Eventually SIR came into the room and put it in another position with its wrists (still in the padded mitts) attached to a spreader bar high overhead. Then SIR attached clothepins on the nipples and played with its balls. What IT remembers most was what SIR was saying, explaining that the next time it came for training, it would spend a good deal of time in "the box". This made IT very excited as SIR knows that it likes the feeling of complete encasement and subhuman objectification and spending time locked in a box when not in use by Master is ultimately where it wants to get to....the new life it KNOWS it wants....it needs. But can anyone REALLY live this way? Is it just a fantasy? Only time will tell but these thoughts NEVER go away and only grow stronger and SIR SEEMS to want this as well. Finally the slave was released only to discover that SIR had changed the lock on its chastity device to a more permanent lock. Yes, the slave would not be coming today or for some time. Most slaves would HATE this yet.....it feels right. its cock does NOT belong to it anymore and even though we are only just starting this training, SIR clearly wants to set a precedent to remind me what is NOT mine to use.......He also is very clear on what my place is. it was only allowed to say "SIR yes SIR" or "SIR no SIR" unless there was a major problem and when the slave started to say something (during one of the BRIEF moements it was not gagged) SIR quickly reminded it that it did NOT have permission to speak. it liked that SIR did that.....ultimately it showed that SIR does NOT intend for His bondage slave to be allowed to speak much if at all in order to meld it into the object/bound property HE wants (and IT needs). It's head is so full tonight (and also tired after the long drive back and the day). it has only been back for an hour and already is GREATLY missing the bondage. The process of becoming a REAL gimp has clearly begun.
As it was VERY nervous at this point and still trying to adjust to the hood, the tightness and the heat (it was sweating very strongly) it was difficult to stay in that position. Unfortunately the top forehead band of the muzzle was pressing so hard on my head it was beginning to get lightheaded and was afraid it would throw up and/or pass out. Luckily was able to get SIRs attention and He removed the head harness and attached the chain to the collar instead so it was still unable to move hardly at all but was no longer in intense pain. it felt SO wonderful to be kept like this, even as my jaw and legs were aching. it could feel its dick getting hard but (of course) it was still in the chastity device with the same numbered plastic lock SIR had made it put on it a week earlier.
SIR then put it in His cage (which was oddly the SMALLEST cage it has ever been in but it felt very good to be caged and in bondage....SIR attached a chain from its wrists (now in padded mitts in front of its chest) thru the top bars of the cage and to the ankle restraints, effectively making it so it could not move in any position other than on its back. SIR left it like that for several hours.....the feelings of being OWNED completely by a Master came back to it...it had been a LONG time since it felt like this and the feelings were overwhelming. it was not scared and it accepted its pain as a gift...a gift from SIR. Its thoughts focused on what it would be like to TRULY live like this on almost a daily basis? Hmmm.....WOW.....what a fantastic life that would be. It tried not to think too hard about it as it made its cock hard and it pushed against its chastity. Eventually SIR came into the room and put it in another position with its wrists (still in the padded mitts) attached to a spreader bar high overhead. Then SIR attached clothepins on the nipples and played with its balls. What IT remembers most was what SIR was saying, explaining that the next time it came for training, it would spend a good deal of time in "the box". This made IT very excited as SIR knows that it likes the feeling of complete encasement and subhuman objectification and spending time locked in a box when not in use by Master is ultimately where it wants to get to....the new life it KNOWS it wants....it needs. But can anyone REALLY live this way? Is it just a fantasy? Only time will tell but these thoughts NEVER go away and only grow stronger and SIR SEEMS to want this as well. Finally the slave was released only to discover that SIR had changed the lock on its chastity device to a more permanent lock. Yes, the slave would not be coming today or for some time. Most slaves would HATE this yet.....it feels right. its cock does NOT belong to it anymore and even though we are only just starting this training, SIR clearly wants to set a precedent to remind me what is NOT mine to use.......He also is very clear on what my place is. it was only allowed to say "SIR yes SIR" or "SIR no SIR" unless there was a major problem and when the slave started to say something (during one of the BRIEF moements it was not gagged) SIR quickly reminded it that it did NOT have permission to speak. it liked that SIR did that.....ultimately it showed that SIR does NOT intend for His bondage slave to be allowed to speak much if at all in order to meld it into the object/bound property HE wants (and IT needs). It's head is so full tonight (and also tired after the long drive back and the day). it has only been back for an hour and already is GREATLY missing the bondage. The process of becoming a REAL gimp has clearly begun.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Introduction
it has never done a blog before so really don't know what to do or say but will be starting this to document the process of becoming BondageBoss's gimpslave. Although it has been a 24/7 slave twice before it was never at the extreme level that Sir and it are discussing. This has been a lifelong dream and it is rare to find someone who is interested and NEEDS this as it does. Sir seems to be that person. We have not met yet but are currently scheduled for the first training session to be the weekend of April 10th. As it has a lot of previous longterm bondage experience Sir is planning a 2+ day initial trial. While Sir will (of course) not share with me the details, He has told it to plan on being hooded and in bondage the entire time. it is VERY excited about this opportunity (almost TOO much so as it has been burned in the past) and He seems to be very real and we both seem to want the same things. Time will tell of course and it is trying hard to NOT get its hopes up but is really looking forward to the training, even though it knows it will be long, hard, painful but it NEEDS it as much as it needs oxygen. Looking forward to giving more details after the first training session is complete. Maybe.....just maybe....i have finally found a Master who ACTUALLY wants this as much as it does....crossing its fingers. At this point, it is simply grateful that Sir is willing to give me a chance at this opportunity and it wants to prove to Him that it CAN be the bondage gimp slave SIR wants.
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